WE WRITE OUR OWN ROMANCE

That Tuesday Night

tinaytinapay — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 17:55:34 +0000

Last night, for the first time, you decided to be honest with me. You decided to admit how stupid, selfish and heartless you are. I can vividly remember your honest surrender. How you were like an old, washed-up whore begging to be noticed by one of the passers by:

“I did it. I was too afraid, because deep inside, I knew I never really loved you. I don’t want to face the consequences of going on with it. I don’t want to give up the promising life, that I think is ahead of me. Now I feel like a coward, full of remorse. I know its too late, but honesty is the only thing that can salvage me now. You deserve to know about this because this is the only thing I could do to repay the love that you once gave me. Everyday, I pray for this moment to come and tell you everything. I pray for your understanding and hopefully, for your forgiveness, even though I know I don’t deserve it.”

Yes! You don’t deserve anything from me, not even a teardrop, not even a slap! Not in this lifetime or next would I ever forgive you. I am bleeding from a wound that I never knew existed till now. A wound inside me that would never heal because you have chosen to be stupid, selfish and heartless.

Last Goodbye

tinaytinapay — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:06:58 +0000

It was a Friday, 6 in the evening. She had gotten home earlier than usual. Normally she would get home just an hour or two before her boyfriend, but this Friday she got home 4 hours early. After opening the door she placed the keys in the usual bowl on the coffee table in the living room in front of the tv, before producing two sheets of paper from her purse. Walking to the kitchen she crumpled the papers before throwing them out.
Back in the living room, sitting on the sofa, stretched out her left hand in front of her, looking at the engagement ring on her finger. She removed the ring and placed it on the coffee table. She switched the tv on and browse through channels hoping that something will catch her fancy.

Engrossed with the news of a brutal killing in her neighboring province, the sound of he boyfriend unlocking the door made her jump. She took a deep breath to steady herself. He didn’t even get to closing the door before she spoke.

“I can’t marry you.” she crossed her arms. He just looked at her incredulously. She was growing impatient for him to speak, but tried not to show it.

“You can’t marry me?” was his eventual reaction, he sounded quite doubtful.

“No.”

“What? Why? I don’t understand. Where is this coming from?”

“I just can’t marry you.”

There was another pause. He was stunned, she nervous. She looked down. Not knowing what to do with her hands, she started to fiddle with the engagement ring on the top of the coffee table , pushing it around on the polished surface. Timidly she pushed it towards him with her fingertips while looking pleadingly at him.

“Is there someone else?” He was going from baffled to angry rather quickly. She just pushed the ring even further towards him.

“So you have done something and now you are hoping that I’ll make it easy on you. Well I will.” He stomped past her. She didn’t move from the living room. A couple of minutes later he returned with a bag.

“I’ll be at my parents’ if you decide to give me a proper explanation.” He said before slamming the door behind him.

He left the ring on the table

After he left, she let out the air in her lungs with a sigh. She hadn’t realized that she had been holding her breath. Picking up the ring she sighed again, she left the living room carrying it on an outstretched palm before her like it had suddenly become dangerous. She went into the living room and got an envelope out of her desk, poured the ring into it and sealed it. Holding the envelope between two fingers she walked back into the living room where she propped it up against the bowl.

The phone rang, it startled her deep as she was in thought. She went to pick it up. It was one of her closest friends.

“Hey sweetheart, how are you? Have you already told him? Do you want me to go there?”
“Thank you, but there’s no need to”

“So I guess the tests didn’t go well. Why don’t you give the doctor’s alternative a shot. Because if you change your later, I hope it will not be too late.”

“Thank you, but I won’t change my mind.”

“Sweetie, I’ll try to catch a flight tomorrow.”

“That won’t be necessary. Goodnight.”

“It’s easier this way,” she told herself while putting down the phone.

The Prowl

tinaytinapay — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:38:03 +0000

My friend Lee and I are like siblings. We grew up together and because I don’t have an older brother, he became my surrogate kuya. He had many obsessions; one of them is to date a lawyer or a soon-to-be lawyer. Three of the last women he went out with were all soon-to-be lawyers. I, on the other hand, was different. Mine wasn’t lawyers but musicians. To put it simply, at my hormonal age of 26, he wanted me to get hitched to a lawyer. Which lawyer didn’t matter, anyone would be fine as long as he’s at least in his junior year in law school or has taken enough law units to talk convincingly like a lawyer.

Of course, this only means that most of the time, I have to delete his emails, text messages and ignore most of his phone calls because they all end up into lectures about the advantages of dating an attorney.

I found a young college band drummer performing together with his band at Freedom Bar on Independence Day. I took this as a sign. So I laid the ground work.

Smiling at him – no reaction.

Winking with matching biting of the lower lip – still no reaction.

After reflection I came to the conclusion that the wink may have been too subtle to move things up a notch. When I saw him walking towards the john, I approached him and pretended to bump him. I lightly rubbed my right boob against his left elbow. But still, this only provoked a nothing more than annoyed glance.

Still calm and collected, I unbuttoned my blouse and showed a measured amount of flesh while loudly uttering my mobile number.

No reaction.

It was at this point that I realized that I have to face three possibilities: Either he was irrevocably stupid, interminably afraid of gorgeous-looking girls or I had so miserably failed to make a move that would really impress the young college band rocker. He had noticed me, and yes that bastard knew and I had a plan to win his heart once and for all. But I only have an hour till the bar closes.

I waited for him outside the bar. When I saw him stand up I quickly whipped a mirror out of my handbag, retouched my make-up, hair and struck a pose as he started to walk towards me.

When he was almost right in front of me, I pushed him.

“Anong bang problema miss!?”

I waited and pouted for a second then thought better about it and just tried to look cute.

“Hmmm…” His face lightened up a bit. “You’re…”

“Yes?” I said and ran my fingertips through my fringe, brushing it back.

“You’re the one who’s been stalking me, right?” And laughed.

“No!” I snapped then saw him flick a smile on then off again. I smiled back and said,

“It’s not stalking. It’s romance.

He nodded, the sides of his mouth rising slightly, tiny dimples appearing in both cheeks and asked me to sit with him on the sidewalk.

My friend’s going to be so pissed off.

At the break of dawn

tinaytinapay — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:28:45 +0000

How do people fall in love? Nobody knows exactly the answer.

But he decided to take the stand and search for clues and finally stumble upon a good reason. Consciousness did make things a wee bit difficult for him, but despite the rocky road, he struggled to go past his journey.

Until one Saturday night. He caught himself in the midst of a crowd hypnotized under the spell of club music. He nearly suffocated, and in order to gasp for air he had to follow the motion of the warm bodies that danced like as if there was no tomorrow. He felt like he was being hypnotized as well. But he didn’t think of going against the flow. The man-made clouds made it look like heaven, and with every beat he felt free… Free to hold the body leaning against him. Her eyes were glittery. She was dancing. And she smiled while she bumped at him. They listened to the music. They took the step of every beat. He was aware that this madness would last only until the music stops, but hence he found himself holding a soda can with her leaning on his shoulder.

The party has just ended. But the two of them sat on the grass waiting for the sunrise. Slowly the birds began to croon and the morning mist was everywhere. She was cold. She snugged in his arm and smiled.He didn’t know what to do. He looked at her and realized that she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. He couldn’t figure out exactly what he felt, but at that moment he wanted to give her all the comfort she needs. He didn’t know her name. But his soul screamed to be with her from that day forward. Hearts do meet at the break of dawn.

First!

tinaytinapay — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 14:56:09 +0000

This is my first writing venture. So please be patient. I write good research papers but not stories. I am not a writer, but rather a scientist (agriculturist) who loves letting her heart out through writing.

My name is Tinnie and this is not a documentation of my life’s journey but a compilation of thoughts when I am not in my right state of mind. Now I am officially devirginized from blogging. Hihihi!